Why Confidence Is the Missing Link Between Doing the Work and Leading Effectively

A leader told me recently that by the end of most days, they feel exhausted but unsatisfied. 

They’ve worked all day, but when they try to point to what actually progressed, it’s hard to name.

When we dug, they realised they were busy responding, but they weren’t really leading.

This is something I see often with capable new leaders.

From the outside, they look like the kind of leader every team values. They are involved, responsive, and dependable. People know they will step in when needed.

From the inside, it feels very different.

The leader feels uncertain in their role, and it shows up as:

• Delaying or replaying decisions that should feel straightforward.

• Staying close to the detail because that’s where they feel most comfortable.

• Stepping in quickly when someone struggles because watching them figure it out feels inefficient. 

• Softening expectations so they don’t come across too strong. 

• Explaining things twice to make sure they sound credible.

Because their confidence as a leader hasn’t quite settled yet.

And this is where organisations start paying a price they don’t realise they’re paying.

A CEO I worked with realised he was spending hours every week re-explaining priorities he thought were already clear.

His team wasn’t incapable. They were unsure. So they escalated decisions, asked for reassurance, and waited for direction.

All of that landed back with him.

He was trapped carrying work that didn’t belong to him, and his team was holding back because they weren’t clear how direction was being set.

When leaders are unsure, teams sense it immediately. They adjust their behaviour to match, and productivity drops in ways that are hard to see. 

Work gets redone. Decisions get delayed. People wait instead of taking iniative.

It doesn’t look dramatic, but it does slow everything down.

I worked with another leader who was known for being incredibly supportive.

She would jump in to help constantly. Solve problems quickly. Make herself available.

Her team adored her.

The organisation was frustrated because nothing seemed to move without her involvement.

She wasn’t aware that she had become the bottleneck. She thought she was helping, but in reality, she was preventing her team from building confidence and capability.

She knew how to coach. She knew how to delegate. She just didn’t feel comfortable stepping back far enough to fully let that happen.

That discomfort is often a confidence issue, not a skill issue.

And it’s expensive. It slows development, limits ownership, and traps leaders in work they should have left behind.

This can even play out when organisations put strong systems in place around planning, processes and feedback.

On paper, everything should work well, but the leader overrides it. Stepping in, making exceptions and fixing things themselves.

The system isn’t flawed, but because in moments of pressure there’s more uncertainty, and urgency prompts imperfect action.

Optimisation fails for a reason that sits underneath the system.

Though when confidence is more settled, you can see it in very ordinary ways:

• Leaders stop explaining themselves so much. 

• They set expectations and direction. 

• They don’t feel the same urge to jump in. 

• They allow their team to sit with problems a bit longer.

Overall, their week looks different, and their team behaves differently.

The results?

• Decisions happen faster. 

• Questions reduce. 

• Team ownership increases.

• Time is available for strategic work.

Not because anyone learnt new skills, but because the leader stopped carrying things that were never meant to sit with them.

That simple shift in confidence saves the organisation time, lifts performance, and changes how work flows through the team.

If any of this feels familiar, you are not unusual.

The confidence gap is common in leadership, especially after promotions or role changes.

Our upcoming masterclass, Tapping into Confidence to Fully Shift into a Leadership Role, is designed for leaders in exactly this position.

It’s a practical 2.5-hour online session that helps leaders feel more settled in their role and lead in a way that improves both team performance and their own experience of leadership.

You can find the details and register here.