When Personal Difficulty Begins to Affect Performance
Life does not stop when someone arrives at work.
Illness, grief, financial pressure, relationship breakdown, caring responsibilities and other difficult circumstances can affect a person’s energy, concentration and capacity.
Often, the employee continues working. At first, the changes may be small. They are quieter in meetings. Their response times become slower. A deadline moves. Their work needs more revision than usual.
The leader notices, but hesitates because they do not want to intrude into something personal. They worry that raising performance will appear uncaring. They may hope the situation resolves itself or wait for the employee to start the conversation.
That hesitation is understandable.
But once personal challenge begins affecting work, avoiding the issue rarely helps the employee, the leader or the wider team.
When does a personal matter become a workplace matter?
Employees are entitled to privacy. They do not need to share every detail of what is happening in their lives. Leaders also do not need a full personal history before they can respond to a change at work.
The situation becomes a legitimate workplace concern when there is an observable impact on attendance, behaviour, communication, quality, deadlines or the wider team.
The conversation should begin with that impact.
Rather than assuming someone is overwhelmed, unwell or experiencing a particular problem, the leader can identify what they have noticed.
For example:
“I’ve noticed that the last two deadlines have moved and that you have been quieter than usual in team meetings. I wanted to check in, understand what is affecting the work and discuss what support may be useful.”
This approach keeps the conversation grounded. It shows concern without demanding personal information and makes it clear why the discussion is taking place.
Waiting can turn a manageable issue into a larger one
Leaders often hold off because they want to be compassionate. They quietly extend deadlines, take work away or ask other team members to cover the gaps. They may avoid discussing the change because they believe the employee already has enough to deal with.
In the short term, this can feel supportive ut over time, unclear arrangements create new problems.
The employee may not know what is still expected or think this is the “new normal”. Colleagues may become frustrated as extra work spreads through the team. The leader may become increasingly concerned but have no agreed plan to refer back to.
Eventually, the issue reaches a point where a formal conversation feels unavoidable. But by then, both the performance concern and the relationship around it may be more difficult than they needed to be.
Early conversations give everyone a better chance of resolving the issue before it escalates. As Brené Brown says, “Clear is kind, unclear is unkind”.
Empathy and accountability are not opposites
Leaders can sometimes feel they must choose between being compassionate and maintaining standards. They do not.
Empathy means recognising that someone may be operating under unusual pressure and listening carefully to their circumstances.
Accountability means being clear about what work still needs to be completed, what can reasonably change and what happens next.
Both are necessary.
Removing every expectation may unintentionally suggest that the employee is no longer seen as capable. Maintaining every expectation without considering their current capacity may be unrealistic and harmful.
The more useful response is to work with the employee to understand what remains possible.
What are the immediate priorities?
What can be temporarily adjusted?
What responsibilities should remain with the employee?
What support is available?
What cannot change because of the requirements of the role or organisation?
These questions create a practical middle ground.
Support should be specific
Vague reassurance can create more uncertainty.
Phrases such as “Take all the time you need” or “Just do what you can” sound kind, but they leave important questions unanswered:
Does the deadline still apply?
Who is responsible for urgent work?
Is the arrangement temporary?
When will it be reviewed?
Specific support is easier for everyone to understand.
A short-term plan might confirm that the employee will focus on two priority areas for the next fortnight, that one project will temporarily move to another team member and that the arrangement will be reviewed on a set date.
The plan does not need to predict how long the personal situation will last. It needs to provide enough clarity for the next stage.
Protect the dignity and agency of the employee
When someone is struggling, leaders may move too quickly into problem-solving. They remove work, make decisions on the employee’s behalf or begin treating the person as fragile.
This can come from genuine concern, but it may also take away the employee’s sense of control.
Where possible, the employee should remain involved in decisions about their work.
They may want temporary flexibility but still value being part of an important project, or need clearer priorities rather than fewer responsibilities, or prefer a structured weekly check-in rather than repeated informal questions about how they are feeling.
The aim is to support the person without defining them by what they are experiencing.
Consider the wider team without breaching privacy
When one person’s capacity changes, the effect is often felt by the whole team. Work may need to be redistributed. Deadlines may shift. Colleagues may notice that expectations appear different.
The leader needs to manage this impact without sharing information the employee has not agreed to disclose. The wider team usually does not need to know the personal details. They may need to know that responsibilities have been temporarily adjusted, who owns each priority and when the arrangement will be reviewed.
Clarity helps prevent speculation and resentment. It also stops stronger employees from quietly carrying additional work for an indefinite period.
Know when to involve additional support
Not every situation can or should be managed by the direct leader alone. HR often needs to become involved when adjustments are significant or ongoing, when performance does not improve, when workplace policy or legal obligations apply, or when there are concerns about safety.
An EAP or other professional service may be appropriate when an employee needs support outside the leader’s role. Leaders are not expected to diagnose personal problems or become counsellors.
A leader’s role is to notice what is happening at work, begin an appropriate conversation, clarify expectations, offer the support available to them and involve others when needed.
Knowing the boundary is part of responding well.
Do not let temporary arrangements drift
Any plan should include a review date. Without one, temporary support can become an unclear ongoing arrangement. The employee may not know when normal responsibilities will resume, while the leader and team may not know whether the support is helping.
A review allows both parties to consider what has changed.
Has the employee’s capacity improved?
Are the current adjustments useful?
Is work being completed to the required standard?
Does the plan need to continue, change or end?
Is more formal support now required?
Reviewing the arrangement should be done with empathy. It is what keeps the support clear, fair and useful.
Lead the conversation with greater confidence
The right response is neither to ignore what is happening nor to take responsibility for fixing the employee’s life. It is to address the impact early, listen without prying and agree on practical support and clear expectations.
In our upcoming free live workshop, What People Need From Work When Life Gets Hard, with special guest Gabriela Teleasa, developer of Work & Therapy, we will explore how leaders and HR professionals can respond appropriately when personal or workplace pressures begin affecting an employee’s experience at work.
You will learn how to begin useful conversations, understand what may be contributing to the situation and decide what kind of support or intervention is appropriate.
What People Need From Work When Life Gets Hard
A practical approach to supporting resilience without overstepping or guessing.
Date: Thursday, 27th August 2026
Time: 11:00AM AWST | 1:00PM AEST