The Courage to Be Honest
Redefining What “Good” Leadership Looks Like
We’ve all been there. You know a team member needs feedback, but you hesitate. You don’t want to hurt their feelings. You tell yourself, “They’ll figure it out.” Days turn into weeks. The problem doesn’t go away… it grows.
And suddenly, you’re managing not just the issue, but the silence around it and everyone else’s work-arounds.
Many leaders fall into this trap because they equate being nice with being kind. But there’s a difference - and it matters.
THE MYTH OF THE “NICE LEADER”
Being “nice” is easy. It avoids discomfort, preserves harmony, and feels safe. But being nice often means staying silent when honesty is needed most.
Truly kind leadership (the kind that earns respect and trust) is honest. It’s the courage to say, “Here’s what I see, and here’s how I want to help you grow.”
Avoiding feedback doesn’t protect people. It confuses them. Your silence can leave your team wondering where they stand, what’s expected, or if they’re performing well at all. Worst case - they think they’re performing well until being surprised with a bunch of issues in their annual performance review.
Kindness isn’t about comfort. It’s about clarity.
If you’ve been holding back feedback out of fear, ask yourself this: what message is silence sending to your team? Real leadership requires both heart and honesty.
COURAGEOUS HONESTY IN ACTION
Being courageously honest doesn’t mean being blunt or harsh. It means pairing candour with care. Truth with respect.
Here’s how to strike that balance.
Lead with Intent. Before giving feedback, check your motive. If your intention is to help, your words will reflect that. Start with clarity: “I want to share something that I think could help you grow.”
Ask Before You Tell. Inviting consent creates safety. “Can I share an observation with you?” That small question shifts the power dynamic. It turns feedback from a lecture into a partnership.
Be Clear, Not Clever. Don’t dance around the point - use the least amount of words to say what you mean. Ambiguous feedback creates confusion. So, instead of “You could be more proactive” try, “When you wait for direction before acting, it slows the project. I’d like to see you take more initiative by identifying next steps early.”
Follow Up with Support. Courageous honesty doesn’t stop at delivery. Ask, “How can I support you as you work on this?” That shows care, not control, and turns feedback into collaboration.
Want to learn how to deliver tough feedback that strengthens relationships instead of straining them? Coaching Week 2025 will give you the language and confidence to do it right.
WHY COURAGE BUILDS TRUST
It’s natural to think that difficult feedback might damage relationships. But more often than not, avoiding the truth does greater harm.
When your team knows you’ll tell them the truth (even when it’s hard) you build psychological safety. They trust that your feedback is there to help, not to humiliate. They learn that they matter and their performance matters. And that trust is the foundation of every high-performing team.
Courageous honesty sets the tone for your culture. Your team learns that feedback isn’t something to fear, it’s something to value.
If you want your team to be open and proactive with you, it starts by leading with truth yourself. Feedback given with care builds the kind of trust every team needs to thrive.
REDEFINING “GOOD” LEADERSHIP
Good leadership isn’t about being the most liked person in the room. It’s about being the person your team can count on to tell them the truth - with care, compassion, and conviction.
When you redefine feedback as an act of respect and care, you move from avoidance to empowerment. You stop walking on eggshells and start walking alongside your people.
That’s when leadership becomes transformative.
READY TO LEAD WITH COURAGE AND CLARITY?
Join Coaching Week 2025: Become a Master of Feedback.
In one hour a day over four days, LIVE and ONLINE, you’ll learn how to deliver feedback that builds trust, not tension; how to have the “hard” conversations with confidence and care; and how to create a culture of honest, respectful communication where your team thrives.
Feedback isn’t something to fear. It’s your greatest tool for growth.
Coaching Week runs live from 24–28 November, 11:00 AM–12:00 PM WST (2:00–3:00 PM EDST). Early bird price $250 + GST. Replays are available if you can’t attend live.